Ask Jonette: How do I ask my maid of honor to lose weight?

On January 29, 2011

Today’s question comes via email:  “My BFF who’s my Maid of Honor is overweight.  Normally, we don’t have that conversation, but now I want her to lose weight for my wedding.  How do I approach the conversation without straining the friendship, upsetting her AND getting her to lose weight for my wedding?”

I hate to break it to you, but there is no way to approach your best friend about this and get all three of those things in the end.  I imagine that no matter how she dresses it up for others, she’s well aware that she’s overweight.  Bringing it to her attention, for selfish reasons no less, will likely upset her, strain the friendship AND not get her to lose the weight for your wedding.

How would you react if your fiancee asked you to lose weight for the wedding?  Cut your hair?  Grow 5 inches?  You’d be offended.  You’d wonder why he’s marrying you if he couldn’t just accept you as you are.  The same goes for your Maid of Honor and any other attendants.

If you have that much of an issue with her weight, then you have two options:

  • Don’t ask her to be in your wedding; her feelings will be less hurt in the end.
  • If you can’t imagine your wedding day without her standing next to you at the altar, then allow her to wear a dress that’s different from the other bridesmaids.  Have it custom made to complement her body!

Good luck and be kind!

Have a question?  Email info at jsquaredevents dot com or ask me on Twitter or Facebook.  If you, too, are addicted to Pinterest, join me there.

~ Jon’ette

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