Ask Jon’ette: What is the protocol for bridal shower invites?

On February 13, 2012

Today’s question comes via Twitter: “What is bridal shower protocol for getting invited?  My husband and I have known the groom for over 10 years, but I wasn’t invited to the bridal shower.”

I went on to find out from this person that they are not actually friends with the bride, although she invited the bride to her daughter’s 2nd birthday party.  Hey, I’m just the messenger;)

The first thing that people need to understand is that brides do not host their own bridal showers.  Sometimes it’s a co-worker or a bridal attendant and that person might or might not know every single one of the bride’s friends or acquaintances.  However, the bride usually provides the hostess with a list of guests whom she would like to be in attendance.

With that said, the bride is not obligated to ask anyone to invite the wife of her fiance’s best friend to her bridal shower.  Would it have been a nice gesture?  Absolutely.  Is she wrong for not extending the invitation?  Absolutely not.  It might be hurtful or upsetting, but she’s not in the wrong.  You’ll have to lick your wounds on this one.  A bridal shower is time for the bride to enjoy her upcoming nuptials with those to whom she feels close and can let a little loose.  As the wife of someone that she knows because they’re friends with her fiance, you might not be someone that she wants in attendance.  I’m sorry, but it’s true.

The only event to which the spouse of a friend of the bride or groom must be invited is the actual wedding ceremony and/or reception.  Click here to read “the rules”.

Have a question?  Email it to info at jsquaredevents dot com or send it to me on Facebook or Twitter.  Subscribe to the blog to stay up to date with my wedding advice, tips and trends.

~ Jon’ette

Comments are closed.