Proper Wording for RSVP Cards

On November 7, 2012

If you want to thoroughly upset an engaged couple, send them an RSVP card that accounts for more guests than were invited with your particular invitation.  I’m learning that couples are now taking matters into their own hands…and it’s ugly!

A proper RSVP card should read similarly to this one:

In an attempt to deter guests from sending an RSVP card back with more names on it than were indicated on the invitation envelope, couples are now adding “_____ of _____ guests will attend” or “_____ seats have been reserved in your honor” to RSVP cards.  For example, if Mr. and Mrs. John Doe are invited to a wedding, couples are sending RSVP cards with the number 2 pre-written on the second blank.  Thus, Mr. and Mrs. John Doe would see an RSVP card that reads “_____ of 2 guests will attend” or “2 seats have been reserved in your honor”.  Here are a couple visuals:

Trust me, I understand why it’s being done.  However, that doesn’t make it right.  It’s quite wrong, actually.  Believe it or not, 99% of the invited wedding guests who return RSVP cards with the name(s) of people who were not invited aren’t doing so to get on your nerves and/or frustrate you.  They’re doing it because they don’t know any better.

My name, Jon’ette, is pronounced “John-ette”.  I often get Janet, Jeannette, Shawna and the list of incorrect pronunciations goes on.  When someone says my name incorrectly, I politely correct them.  If I don’t, then they will never know how to say it the right way.  The same holds true for guests learning how to properly RSVP to a wedding.  People need to learn that it is not okay to RSVP to a wedding with extra guests who were not originally invited by the couple.  This _____ of _____ business must stop before it gets started!  Even if you do this, guests will inevitably RSVP with extra names because, you guessed it, they don’t know any better!

If you must get the names of the guests planning to attend your wedding, use your entree options to obtain the information.

Lastly, stop writing “Names” under “M_________”.  If people don’t know what should be written on that line, then they should ask or Google it!  Couples need to stop dumbing down their weddings for the sake of others.  Thousands of dollars are being spent on these events.  Every last detail should reflect such an investment, even down to the RSVP wording.

Have other etiquette questions?  Email them to info {at} jsquaredevents {dot} com or ask us on Twitter or Facebook.

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